experiencing death and dying can be very challenging, especially in our complex health care system – logistically, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. You don’t have to do it alone. An end of life doula can help.
End of Life Doula Services
We all will experience death. Normalizing it can help us better cope with this inevitable part of life. A death doula can help approach death by ensuring people and their families are prepared at the end.
What is a Doula?
A doula is a non-medical professional who is trained to provide emotional, physical, educational, and practical care to anyone, in any environment, who requests their care.
You may have heard of a birth doula who focuses on pregnant women. A death doula or end of life (EOL) doula focuses on the dying. For many, death is a difficult topic. If you, or someone you love, are experiencing end of life issues or would like to proactively prepare for end of life, you may benefit from a death doula.
My Mission
The mission of By Your Side is to provide support to the dying and their loved ones to promote a peaceful ending by honoring a person’s individual experiences, choices, and circumstances.
My Philosophy
We will all experience death. It is part of the human experience. I believe when we accept this fact and prepare for our own death with honest and open communication, we can improve the dying experience for ourselves and our loved ones. I believe that accepting and contemplating our mortality can help us live more fully. When we witness a “good death,” it helps us grieve and it reduces fear around dying.
Services Offered
Patient Advocacy
Working in health care for 30 years I learned a lot about many common chronic illnesses and how they impact patients, our healthcare system, and the challenges patients face in our complex system. I am comfortable speaking to health care providers. I can help you better understand how your health care providers are supporting your care and help you have meaningful conversations with them.
End of Life Planning
I can help you better understand your options for Advanced Care Directives so that you can put your wishes in a format that will be meaningful for you and your loved ones, and also provide the necessary documentation for your health care providers. We can put plans in place for how you would like your remains handled and how you would like to be both remembered and celebrated.
Companionship
It can be lonely to grow older. You may feel you are a burden to others and resist asking for help. I can be an additional support system in your circle to provide visitations and basic assistance with practical life needs like shopping, running errands, or simple conversations. This time spent together can allow your caregiver some respite care so that they get the much needed time to tend to their own needs.
Vigiling
When a person starts the dying process it may take days to weeks before death comes. Vigiling is when loved ones take turns sitting beside the dying person to keep watch over them as they transition out of their body. Vigiling can provide comfort but also practical support for dying person to ensure they are clean and safe. A doula is trained to identify the physical signs of dying and prepare to “hold the space” for the dying person.
Holding the Space
Holding the space is when the environment of the dying is treated as a sacred space. There may be low lighting, soft music, and visitors offering gentle touching and sharing loving thoughts and words. A doula can help to “hold this space” for the dying to allow the dying person to be honored for the difficult work that is being done transitioning out of their body.
Caregiver Respite
The caregiver can be worn down and need time to themselves to maintain a healthy schedule and attitude for the dying. I provide a respite for the caregivers in this intense situation. Caregivers need to stay as refreshed as possible caring for the dying. Sometimes just a couple hours of rest away from the situation will do wonders for one’s state of mind.